Monthly Archives: March 2014

Where did my me time go?

mom-me-time

 

I’m a super affectionate mom my hand always finds its way to my boys hair, hands, plump cheeks and shower them with kisses. My oldest boy now 16 months is still nursing together with my 2 month old newborn. I guess I fall in the category attachment parent, fell in the love with the “idea” of it little did I know it takes a lot of work.

With tandem feeding at night for them to fall asleep, yes we sleep in the bed all 3 of us, my dear partner sleeps in a separate bedroom even though I miss him it works out for the best as he can work when ever he likes and gets a full night rest without being awakened because of the kids. I’ve worn my oldest one for the first few months on my body and doing the same with my newborn. For them hearing my heartbeat there body against mine I truly find that that’s the right way for me.

Some women are okay with hearing their child cry or moan in discomfort me I can’t stand it. Not in a negative way but I’m wired differently. A panic button goes of in my body and the reaction is to pick up my child almost immediately. There is crying and there is crying. See if the oldest one cries because he is overly tired I let him out his emotions and comfort him that it’s okay and he will fall asleep. If he cries due to anything else then I comfort immediately, to me it’s okay if they cry as long as they are in my loving arms being comforted. There is no mocking not saying cry baby none of that. Since they are both not talking yet crying and moaning and other sounds are the ways of communication and I embrace that.

It takes a lot of work caring for the both of them I feel I can’t get anything done and that everything goes into phases. Everything has to fit into the routing because oh boy if their routine goes off track it will take me ages to get them to sleep at night or the oldest one will just be in a crappy mood while he’s the happiest kid I know. Sometimes I find myself being so tired that I wonder where will I get the energy from for the next day.

I’m now sitting in my bed with both kids asleep and for the first time in 4 months I actually have some me
time so I’m writing this blog,  while just last night I asked myself where did my me time go? I know I signed up for this attachment parenting and being the house mom as in taking full time care of my kids but I miss my me time. Taking a bath BY MYSELF, reading a book BY MYSELF, going to the toilet BY MYSELF, watch a movie WITHOUT INTERRUPTION, get my hair done BY MYSELF and have SEX, sex without my kid being in the room asking for milky from my breast while me and daddy are making love.

I love my boys more than anything in the world and I hope that in the next 2 years I’ll have my me time back for 70%

Wishful thinking or could this actually be happening?

 

 

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The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. -Rajneesh

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